You’d better work it gurl! That’s what I’m gonna keep telling myself when I’m back in Spain. I gotta strut that shit out. If I don’t, I’m doomed.
This summer I was actually strutting because I was so full of well, me I guess. I felt like a superstar going to get groceries, flipping my non-frizzy-cuz-there-ain’t-no-humidity hair. Sticking my chest out walking through the mall cuz I’m wearing my new bra that actually fits. The other day I even started rap battling with my brother because I’m just that badass in English.
I felt 100% Janine. It’s been so long since I had that feeling. Now, with my departure looming I keep asking myself, “How the fuck do I keep the strut?”
Self Improvement is Redunk
This September has to be different. For the past 13 years, it’s pretty much been a shitshow when I return home from summer vacation. I arrive in Valencia with the best intentions: signing up for more Spanish classes, no more gorging on junk food, interval training in the park and generally enjoying life in Spain. Then I settle back in and everything goes to hell. My strut self-destructs.
I never sign up for more Spanish classes because I convince myself I should sharpen up on my grammar before setting foot back in the class room. All it takes is one look at my copious notes on all the Spanish grammar tenses and I say, “Fuck that, I’m done.”
The exercise “thing” limps along for a couple of weeks till I discover something awesome on Netflix. Then before you know it, my exercise pants turn into sweatpants and my sofa becomes my new BFF.
It’s not all bad though. I have no problem keeping my promise to stop eating ooey-gooey-drippy-cheesy junk food because there ain’t any. Spain may be world renowned for food but when you need to get your junk food binge on, Spain sucks balls. That goes for Asian and Mexican food too. How hard is it to look up a recipe on the internet and follow it? I mean, damn people. Is it asking too much?
Giving Myself the One Finger Salute
Well, this time I’m giving expat Janine the middle finger. I’m tired of imagining how things “should” be when I go back.
My Spanish sucks. So what. I’m going to Spanish B1 classes and gonna make all the mistakes.
I’m going for walks in the park, then going home, flipping on Netflix for five hours and eating Char Kway Teow I made my damn self.
When I walk down the street I’m gonna stick my chest out so far I’ll start having back problems because my new Walmart bra is the bomb.
There will be no should.
I just gotta strut what I got (mic drop).